Reply to Would you inquire how the bill for dinner is being split?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Would you inquire how the bill for dinner is being split?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At different times in my life, I’ve been the rich friend and the poor friend at these dinners.  I’ve come to look at it as paying for an overall shared experience, not specifically what I eat and drink there.  Looking at the menu I can get a ballpark idea of what a night out at that restaurant looks like, and if I can’t swing it (or if it’s not someone I’m close to and not worth it to me) I just don’t go.

I know someone will respond “OMG I’d never expect my friends to pay to be in my company” and you aren’t wrong, but this is my approach.[/quote]

It's not much of an overall shared experience if you're excluding the friends or family who are on a budget.

Also, depending on what people order, you can't necessarily get an idea of the ballpark.  I've been the poor friend at dinners where other people have been excessive, and then massively pushed my budget.  As an example, once a group of friends insisted that they simply had to go to a seafood restaurant.  I'm a vegetarian and could only get a side of fries to nibble on.  After looking at the menu, I assumed that my "ballpark" was $20 max.  I was also in grad school and already on a ramen noodle budget.  Everyone else had fish dishes, fish appetizers, and cocktails.  What I ate + tax and generous tip was like $5.  What each of them ate plus tip was like $50+.  They tried to pull the "let's divide things evenly" card, and I refused.  Nobody warned me ahead of time that they wanted to split the bill evenly, and I assumed that anyone with a grain of common sense would see that an even split was inappropriate in this case.  So, who is in the wrong, here?  If it's all about the "overall shared experience," why should poorer people be put in the position of either missing out on everything or of having to let more affluent friends mooch off of them?[/quote]

To each his/her own; if the group chose a restaurant that didn't fit my dietary needs or that didn't fit in my budget for a full meal, I wouldn't go.  Because nibbling a side of fries while everybody else enjoys appetizers, entrees, drinks, and desserts doesn't sound fun to me.  But if somebody else feels different and wants to go just for the company, of course nobody should give them any grief for refusing to split the bill evenly. [/quote]

Well, yes. Sometimes people just want to go for the company.  Being excluded from family and friend events because you're on a tight budget really sucks.  Also, sometimes people are judging the "ballpark" to be a typical price of an entree + drink + a little more.  They aren't accounting for the people who order very expensive entrees, multiple expensive drinks, apps, a dessert, and so on.  When your share costs a little more than what you ate, it's no big deal.  When it's 3x or 4x the cost of what you ate, it's a huge problem.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics