Reply to When did you realize that your parents didn't care about you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a big fight with my parents in high school--i don't even remember the cause--but my father was violent and my mother broke down in tears admitting that [b]he'd never loved me.  Even as an infant he hated me and she couldn't leave him alone with me. [/b] The strange thing is that he adored my siblings and may not be a perfect father, but he's miles better to them.

I still struggle withy relationship with my mother.  In some ways she protected me and loves me, but then also will dump me for my father and siblings because she loves the feeling of that intact family unit.  Mind you, we're all full blood siblings and I'm officially part of the family, but emotionally I've never been included.   For years they blamed me for that--i was often jealous and attention seeking--but was I that way as a kid because I had always been excluded or did they exclude me because I acted that way?  Now as a kind, stable adult I'm still treated like shit, so I've concluded that it was mostly them.  I may not have handled the rejection well as a kid, tween or teen, but I also didn't create the situation.  I was rejected by my dad at birth, and my mom often chose him over me.  My siblings think they're better people and more deserving of my parents' love than me, so that's super healthy too.[/quote]

This is heartbreaking.  Why on earth did he do this.  Ugh.  There is something very wrong with a man you "can''t leave alone with an infant/toddler".  Yikes.

Something someone told me that helped.  Remember that parents are just random people who managed to reproduce.  They aren't trained, they aren't vetted.  They may be crazy, insensitive or downright cruel.  Their failure to love you is NOT a reflection on you, who you are, and what you deserve.  Not a reflection of your value.

I hope you find peace and are able to let go of the pain of your childhood.[/quote]

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