Reply to If H takes this job, it’s going to break me.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He came home to tell you about something he was excited about and felt flattered by. You called him lazy and talked about his flaws.  I am having trouble understanding how you expected him to react. I know he isn't helping at home, but he's your husband and you should try to muster a little bit of support for him.

Men get better as they get older. They contribute more and make more responsible decisions. Wait him out.  [/quote]

Just how much lack of consideration, fairness, and basic adult functioning should a woman accept in the name of "support"?  If she acted happy about it, that would be deceitful.  She isn't, and he deserves to hear the truth even if it causes him a man-baby tantrum.  [/quote]

You can't maintain a relationship if you withhold all support until all problems are solved.

Also let's be real here. This is about cleaning. People don't divorce over cleaning. They do divorce over falling out of love and that is the path they are on if OP and her husband can't have a conversation about work opportunities without her calling him lazy, etc.

As far as the temporary position, this is really common at government agencies and often doesn't come with increased compensation. And it can be very career limiting if you don't do them or apply when approached about them.

Lots and lots and lots of men don't pull their weight at home. Despite all the insistence on this board that everyone has a 50/50 split, there's been a lot of ink spilled on how men do much less housework. And yeah, that impacts marriages, with couples like OPs generally having less sex than couples with a fairer distribution of work. So I'm not saying it's not a problem, but I am saying it's a common dynamic and one that tends to change over time, with men assuming more and more work as they get older.  So this is something that she can literally wait out.  [/quote]

It's not about cleaning!  It's about respect.  It's about being partners in life, following through on agreements and working together in good faith.  OP's DH is lazy and unreliable, not just about cleaning but in everything.  And he's bad with money too.  Can she wait that out, according to you?  Will he stop sleeping in as he grows older?  [/quote]

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