Reply to Mixed feelings about not being more outspoken about brother’s homebirth plan

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my brother told me he was having his child at home, I was naturally concerned. I have children and knew enough babies that had issues during the birth such as being stuck, severe bleeding, cord wrapped around it’s neck, etc. I didn’t want to overstep with my sister in law. The birth did not go well and the baby nearly didn’t survive. She will be in the NICU for a few months and is on a ventilator. I’m having guilt about not saying more at the time. Has anyone been in this situation? Or have the perspective of a parent who birthed at home? It’s not like I think they would have listened to me or anything but I don’t think they understood the risks since it was their first child. [/quote]

It was not your responsibility nor would you have changed their mind. I had a home birth on my 3rd kid and it was a disaster. I regretted it immensely due to the complexity and awful experience. I had two previous uneventful births at the hospital so assumed that #3 would be the same. I was so wrong. 
All this is to say that sometimes you have to live and learn. You would not have changed their minds. It is tragic what happened but nothing you could've done.

That said, I do share my story often - not with people who are currently pregnant and seeking home birth - but just in general so that anyone who might think of it in the future will remember how it actually goes for some of us. There's a reason that so many women died in childbirth in generations past. Don't know why we keep forgetting that.

Hope the baby begins to do much better, OP![/quote]

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