Reply to Who should help take care of MIL? A very complicated family dynamic.

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[quote=Anonymous]PS: the real baseline of this appears to be that FIL has made a series of questionable decisions without planning for quite foreseeable consequences, and he plans on continuing to make irresponsible decisions because he wants to be happy in his last years, not tied down and miserable. He is going to do this by complicity with his son effectively to tie down SIL1 and make her life miserable, leaving her (eventually) unhappy at the end of her life and without the means to live life on her own terms then.

Eff that ess. Team SIL-doesn't-wait. No kids? She has a moral obligation to walk away from this NOW.

Again, I don't think OP should shoulder this in any way. (I also think she needs to refrain from saying she would, "if only XYZ" -- because someone is going to offer her XYZ eventually.) Agree that the biological children and the FIL need to make a plan to share this responsibility, and do it. And BIL1 needs to do that without involving SIL1, who needs to be doing exactly what she wants very far away from the rest of this crew.[/quote]

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