Reply to Is it rude to use airpods at my inlaws on Christmas?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, rude. Teen should not use them either. You are teaching him to be rude.[/quote]

So he should sit there for nine hours while rude people rudely converse with each other in a language they know he doesn’t understand? Yeah, no.

OP, screw how long they “expect” you to stay. You’re adults with agency. Stay for dinner +2 hours or so.[/quote]

Agreed. The family speaking another language and ignoring the OP/inlaw is rude. Is she supposed to sit there for 9 hours while no one talks to her?? WTAF?

OP, my DH and I would be having a conversation. We'd either cut down the hours of the day or he can go early and you follow later. No way I would sit there, on Christmas, for  9 hours in a room full of people who will not talk to me, regardless of how nice they are. It just would not happen.

In the interim, before next year, take some language lessons and your DH should encourage some of his family members to do the same. Part of the obligation, imo, when you marry into a family that has mixed languages/cultures.[/quote]

Have you actually experienced this first hand?  If not, than you truly have no idea that this approach does not go over well.  If you have, then maybe you should take some of the ideas from previous posts.  Definitely help in the kitchen with serving and clean up.  Take your time eating and observing how everyone acts, help with the dishes.  Also, bring a popular American dish or dessert to serve.  Chill in front of the TV with some people.  A fave of mine is hanging with the babies/toddlers, then just want to smile and giggle.

I've been at this for over 20 years now and I do it as an act of love for my husband.  And guess what, his family notices and I also feel loved by them.  Even though it's not in English, I get hugs and English phrases and plates of food brought to me and compliments translated by the younger generation.  Andy my kids have a connection with their extended family.

My husband also truly appreciated this all through the years and after the visits, I got the next day to myself to relax as a thank you.  You can choose to approach this positively.[/quote]

OP here - I've tried every one of those things.  The baby one is the only one that worked, until the baby grew up and started playing on his phone and ignoring everyone.  Helping with dishes and such is a no-go because there are maids or caterers for that.  I tried it anyway a couple of times, because I felt more comfortable with the "help," but it didn't go over well.  Popular American dishes are also frowned upon, and will not be either served or eaten.  It's considered insulting to bring such things. The hosts always set the TV to a news station or music station from their country.  Sounds like your husband's family is a bit more relaxed than mine.  I'm thinking to take up knitting.[/quote]

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