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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well maybe the structure is all done and baked but usually you’d expect some opportunity for both sides to structure things ok— maybe he keeps his retirement accounts in exchange for selling the house cheap, or maybe she could give  him some of her/ borrow against hers to buy it out. [/quote]

Op again -  I did negotiate down the buyout amount in exchange for retirement so he's not getting 50% of the equity - we agreed on a set dollar amount. IMHO he is still winning out financially but it is at a level I was willing to live with.[/quote]

I don’t think you have any great options here, and this is very common for women who don’t want to give their marital house, but I fear this will be a mistake in the long term. You said the appraisals for the house were high.  You are trading an asset (real estate) that is valued at the top of the market for assets (stocks) that are devalued right now. It is much more likely that the value of the house will remain stagnant and the stocks will increase in value over the long term, especially vis a vis inflation. Meanwhile, you’ll be spending all your $$ paying interest & maintaining the house & growing very little equity over the course of your new mortgage & not saving for your own retirement. Not to mention 3 more college tuitions. So many women trade long term retirement security for maintaining their short term standard of living and live to regret it for many, many years. [/quote]

Pension benefits are often dependent on her exH being alive. That’s how it was with my exH plan. [/quote]

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