Reply to Your thoughts on how to solve this recurring marital disagreement/issue

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[quote=Anonymous]		This is a newlywed problem, op, or at best a problem that should only happen once. Your problem is that your husband is at best not rational (which means rational responses such as “call someone” or “just inform him” won’t work.  At worst, he’s abusive, refusing to actually do the work, then telling you are sexist when you tell him it needs to be done would be untennable to me.  I didn’t get married to be told I could “just do it myself”, I got married to be treasured and adored, by which I mean that you have lots of men who can and will say “a girl can do that job just as well as a boy” or some variation.. that shouldn’t be something your husband says to you.. mostly because he offered to do the job, he didn’t, and when you mentioned it, he called you sexist. Maybe I could see his comment logically if you turned down a good female tile person.. did you? Calling you sexist and reminding you of your capabilities when you have no desire to learn how to do a job that isn’t something done on the regular like cooking or changing diapers just strikes me as nasty.   I also wouldn’t be happy with a person who expected all kinds of contortions to be frugal in order to accommodate him. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I haven’t met anybody who describes themselves as “frugal” who doesn’t have some kind of mental health issue.. it’s just a matter of what it is. Our society fetishizes money as well as the lack of spending, so people can get away with behavior like your husband exhibits very easily. 
My approach to be to hire whoever you’d like to make sure your home and cars are in good repair. I’d stop worrying about his anxiety or whatever issue he has.. are you sure it’s anxiety or is he just a jerk with a socially acceptable outlet? I think in your shoes op, I’d be done, maybe not with the marriage but with all the nonsense around his behavior.  If he gets nasty with you enough times, or blows up because you paid to grout the shower (not buy drugs, not lie to cover up gambling debts) but pay to do needed home repairs,    you’ll decide you’ve had enough of the marriage.

You need to call someone to fix the grout, then tell him you will no longer put up with him 
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