Reply to Would you stay in a marriage with separate finances?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in a marriage with separate finances now. We kind of wound up like this after having irreconcilable differences over budgets.

It's terrible for the marriage. Shared goals are nearly impossible. Even simple things like going out for dinner, filling the car with gas, etc. can lead to one feeling like they are being taken advantage of.

Unless we can figure out a way to recombine finances we'll likely divorce at some point.

Would not recommend.[/quote]

I’m in a marriage with separate finances and we have no problem at all agreeing on shared goals and who should pay for what.

Separate finances are the symptom, not the cause, of your marital problems.[/quote]
I'm the PP. I agree in our case the separate finances is not the root cause. It's our inability to reconcile differences. Nevertheless. the separate finances make things worse for us. If you guys have no problems agreeing on finances, why keep them separate?[/quote]

NP and I love having separate finances.  We do the hybrid his/hers/joint approach where we contribute pro rata to a joint account from which all joint expenses are paid (mortgage, daycare, groceries, etc.).  I love having my own pot of money where if I want to take a trip with my friends or get a friend an expensive gift I don't have to discuss it with anyone, I just do it.  It's less of a matter of would we agree on these expenses but more that it's nice to just be able to do them whereas if the money was joint I wouldn't feel comfortable spending a large amount without discussing it with my spouse.  [/quote]

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