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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Are men happier than women in marriage at midlife?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is actual research on this - marriage is generally very beneficial for men and not for women. In most marriages the woman is handling so much of what makes a life enjoyable - men benefit from that and women resent the imbalance. [/quote] It’s this. Women are over it because they feel like their DH is another child to care for and clean up after. Men are happy because they’ve successfully replaced their mother. They might be unhappy with the amount of sex, but also might recognize that being single at their age doesn’t guarantee much more sex than a reasonable healthy marriage, plus that sex would come with the burden of having to actually put effort into attracting a woman. You think these guys are prepared to romance a woman who doesn’t do all their laundry and make sure their kids have summer childcare and plan their vacations and remember their mom’s birthday and put up with even their shittiest friends? They are not prepared. They know the score and most of these guys are significantly better off staying married, even when it comes to sex. Meanwhile, women fantasize about joint custody agreements that would force their DHs to actually do childcare, plus living in a home that is not shared with a grown adult who never cleans the bathroom or changes the sheets. There are tons of downsides to divorce but the upsides really target the pressure points for women— too little help with kids and the house, no alone time or true free time. [/quote] This seems to be the issue with my unhappy 40-something girlfriends. I married someone who is very helpful around the house - makes beds in the morning, does his share of child care, cleans up after himself and others, makes enough that we can afford all the household help we need between the two of us. Obviously, no one is perfect, but I feel a strong desire to keep him happy with me when I compare our marriage to that of my friends. If I marriage fell apart, I don't think I'd even bother looking because none of my friends are happy anymore. [/quote]
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