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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry, OP.  My husband is the same.  Never takes any initiative to plan fun family outings and either refuses to go to anything I plan, or if he does go, it’s very begrudgingly and obvious he’s just “checking the box” and can’t wait to get back home to the couch, TV, and iPad.  So no advice, only commiseration.  I refuse to sit at home all weekend so I take the kids out by myself and we all have fun together.  At this point I feel like it’s DH’s loss.[/quote]

He didn’t want to go any fall festivals. Now he doesn’t want to do any holiday events either. He definitely does not want to go see some Xmas lights because it is only thanksgiving. Museum? No. Movies? No. Have people over? No. Everything is just a no. I guess I will put up the tree today. He will help reluctantly. Everything is just so forced.[/quote]

These festivals and holiday events are fun for some but others really don’t enjoy. Just like some people loooove Disney and others find it fake/crowded/overpriced. Some people are just more homebodies. It’s not a virtue to be running around to places all the time. If you enjoy them that’s great, but obviously he doesn’t. Your way isn’t better. The issue is that he isn’t being flexible and compromising to join you sometimes to keep you company because it means a lot to you. He’s not ever going to want to go to these places, but it would be kind and nice if he could sometimes participate in spite of his personal preference to stay home. [/quote]

I mean, I am naturally lazy and would rather curl up on the couch and watch Netflix, but I take my kids to fall festivals (and for hikes, to the playground etc.) because it is good for them and me to be physically active outdoors. That’s what being a parent is about.[/quote]

You sound like you have very small children and you have found that for your family these activities burn off energy and give you the right balance. That’s great. Not all families are the same as you. Gasp, many have parents who work weekends or night shifts, or need to help elderly family members etc etc. Not everyone can spend the weekend traipsing through crowded pumpkin patches and hiking with toddlers and feel re-charged to go be a freakin surgeon during the week. It is not bad parenting to spend time at home with your family, dutifully take your kids to activities, etc. [/quote]

A “freakin surgeon” LOL. Half my family is surgeons, they are not gods and there is no need to deify them. There are plenty of stressful jobs out there. But if you sign up to be a parent then you need to be a parent. Sorry but you will never convince me that a weekend of vegging in front of screens is as good as getting outside. Doesn’t have to be a structured event or festival, can be a hike.[/quote]

She didn’t say he was a sloth in front of a screen. You assumed that. He could be playing soccer in the backyard with the kids or washing the car in the driveway or shooting hoops. But it sounds like these activities aren’t parenting because they aren’t insta worthy or whatever narrow definition you have of outdoorsy virtue that must take place off the household premises. No one called a surgeon a god. The point was that it is a job that clearly requires sustained focus, and a lack thereof can have high level consequences. It is different than a lot of lower pressure jobs and you know that. [/quote]

I mean OP literally said he doesn’t want to go anywhere, do anything but sit on the couch and play video games.

Plenty of jobs require sustained focus. Again, I have many loved ones who are surgeons. You probably know very few. It’s one of the most valuable professions in this society, but that’s not an excuse to ignore personal responsibilities. Stop deifying them.[/quote]

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