Reply to Do we need to disclose in preschool applications?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Former preschool teacher here---I know the private school part of this is important to you, but if you want your child to be successful right now (which will help create his personal self image as a student) then I would make sure you find a preschool that has a lot of fun and allows for copious outdoor time and unstructured play as well as the structure and routine of sitting in circle time (not too long) and being able to line up and walk in the hallway, take turns, share. I worry that kids like yours will get into these fancy academic schools and be labeled a "bad" kid because they can't sit for a 30 minute circle time, when really the circle time length is developmentally inappropriate. So just as you want them to accept your son, I want you to be careful to find the right environment for HIM so that he sees himself as a bright and capable learner, a successful student--which will prepare him just as much for his future schooling as being in the "right" fancy preschool [/quote]

OP Agreed. But there’s no equivalence. He’s at a neighborhood run of the mill daycare, nothing fancy. And things are not going well. We went for an open house at a fancier place and the moment we knew we were on the verge of a tantrum, the educator there handled it so well that no tantrum ensued. Maybe it was that one individual teacher but if anything we saw the difference very clearly in favor of the fancier school who had a better equipped teacher. [/quote]

Trust me- I’d your child throws more than a few tantrums in a fancy school at age 3, you will be counseled out. Just make sure it’s a good fit.[/quote]

PP This is ridiculous. Kids do sometimes throw tantrums. [/quote]

Of course 3 year olds throw tantrums but many 3 year olds can hold it together at school. I have two kids in school and have never received a phone call about tantrums for either of them and no teacher has ever commented on tantrums during conferences. My children have tantrums at home but they know that it's not OK at school. I do think it's a little different if your child is in a full day program at 3 because it's much harder to ask a kid to hold it together for 8-10 hours at 3 than it is to ask a child to hold it together for 3-4 hours. My guess is that teachers in daycare would be aware of this though and would only raise tantrums if they were occurring enough that they surpassed what was normal.[/quote]

OP back. My kid is in extended care. He goes there 730 am in the morning and we pick him il after 6 pm. We are both working parents and have no other choice though I am now exploring getting a nanny to pick him up at 4 pm. His pushing other kids has also mostly happened after 3 pm so when he’s tired. In terms of tantrums, they did not call us for it they just mentioned it happens so I think he probably does tantrum more than others but they did not highlight it as a huge problem.

To the poster above how did you manage to teach your kid that tantrums are not acceptable in school? Tips?[/quote]

Is he still napping? Mine dropped their naps early and then really needed to come home by 4. I would work later in the evening if I needed to be my husband and I staggered our hours to make it possible. I would definitely look into this for your child’s happiness not for preschool applications.[/quote]

OP Still napping. We cannot stagger our hours. We are looking to get a PT nanny to pick him up around 4 but it takes time to find someone we like and I am not sure we will see enough improvement in his behavior before applications are due so the rec letter issue still stands. Of course, we would still get a nanny to support him but my point is it's not going to solve the immediate issue in the next 2 weeks. We expect the nanny to start by mid-Jan. [/quote]

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