Reply to My mother will not speak to me because I stood up to her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. DH has observed her behavior with me and at one point a few years ago remarked that he thinks both of my parents have it in for me. He once threatened to kick them out of our house because their their sniping at me. [/quote]

OP, what happened most recently?  How did you "call her out"?[/quote]

I basically told her that constantly criticizing someone's choices-- their home, their work, their drapes, whatever-- because they don't align with yours doesn't make you a likable person, especially with your kids and grandkids. She got really huffy and mumbled something about me not valuing family and respecting elders. After that, she pretty much stopped calling other than requesting via text that I put "her grandchildren on the phone so they can speak with their grandmother." Exact words. [/quote]

Here's a tactic I take with my kids when trying to teach empathy and perspective:

Tell the story from your mother's perspective.  To the extent possible, avoid "basically" and use actual words used.  Recount the words you said, rather than the message you intended to convey.

What does that look like?[/quote]

Also try not telling someone they're not likeable and expecting a positive result.[/quote]

Shrug. Try not routinely exhibiting rude, controlling, unlikeable behavior and people won’t call you unlikeable. [/quote]

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