Reply to Bar mitzvah invitation expectations/etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I can’t believe these posts about declining, skipping the service, or being annoyed about having to drive a child somewhere after a service. This isn’t a birthday party. It’s a big deal.[/b]

When I was growing up, a parent would sit in the synagogue parking lot with a book until the service was over. I had a few acquaintances who were conservative, and they did a reception right after and then the party at night and their community was too far across town to go home in between, so it was a ton of waiting. But my Catholic parents also realized that it was important and made sure I could be there to celebrate properly. And yes, I attended bar mitzvahs without knowing any other guests as well as those of people I barely knew but who invited me. It’s fun and it’s also very good practice for being an adult.[/quote]

hey, your child's bat/bar mitzvah is not my child's responsibility to attend at the expense of their own interests.  It gets ridiculous for many kids--my non-Jewish kids get invited to up to 20 a year from our local public. Kids they don't even know well. 
We do our best but perhaps don't invite every kid your child has ever interacted with at school if you want a high acceptance rate.

I TOTALLY get that it's a momentous occasion but it's not fair to expect a kid (as a guest) to do nothing for a year of weekends than attend these every Saturday.

Last weekend my daughter had two.  This was the day:  Temple one service-->Temple 2 service--->Temple 2 luncheon--->Party 1--->Party 2.  My kid was away from home for 13 HOURS.  One parent spent a good part of the day driving.

Give your guests a break.  We are doing the best we can.  [/quote]

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