Reply to Women expecting other women to be in charge of all holidays/logistics/family dynamics

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did none of these older women have jobs? I was born in 1986 and NONE of the women in my family had jobs but I thought we were an anomaly. How exhausting to be trying to work and also be expected to coordinate a gourmet meal (and there better not be any subpar stuffing.)[/quote]

OP here. I was born in 1979 and plenty of my mom’s peers had jobs, including my mom, but it’s like they still have this ingrained homemaking servitude chip embedded in them. My dad does no holiday prep or planning, no meal prep or planning, doesn’t even buy cards and gifts for his own sister. I can recall holidays where my brother was allowed to stay at the table while my sister and I were expected to clear the table. I don’t get it, I really don’t.[/quote]

I think because if it was left to the majority of men nothing would happen. Seriously. My husband doesn't care about Thanksgiving or Easter dinners. If it were up to him, he would just find someplace that has takeout. Same with special holiday traditions for the kids. I do care about it though. So there it is.
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It's this. I overheard a dad talking at the end of the season sports game yesterday about the coach gift. Another dad asked something about it, and the first dad said something like "dads never sit around and decide that what the coach really needs is a gift." Probably the dad coach didn't care either. But, one of the moms got a text chain going to solicit funds for the coach gift to all the other moms. Women bring this on themselves. They decide things need to happen and then are left to make them happen. When men often don't even care if they happen at all.[/quote]

+2.  My husband would be perfectly happy with pizza for Thanksgiving dinner and that’s what he’d plan if he was in charge. [/quote]

We wouldn’t be celebrating any holidays if it was up to DH. I feel bad for his family bc he doesn’t send cards or gifts, rarely calls, rarely visits. 
When we do visit, he makes plans in his head but doesn’t share them with anyone and the is surprised when his family makes different plans. [/quote]

Wait, based on the subsequent comments, i can't tell if people think the dad's in the "coach gift" story up thread is support of the idea that "if we left things to men, the world would fall apart" or "men have the right idea".  I read it and thought, yeah men have the right idea, and women make work up that is so dumb and unnecessary and then complain about it.  The coach gift - and needing to set up a fund, and get everyone to contribute then send it to the coach.... that is a colossal dumb waste of time and 20 years ago, no one - women nor men - was wasting time with stuff like that.  And then you add 5 minutes of time waste to every parent on the team, who has to now figure out whatever dumb app it is to make a contribution.  So i read that "coach gift" story as a perfect example of men having the right idea, and the world will in fact continue to turn if we don't do all these dumb tasks.

But i'm fascinated - it looks like some of you saw it as evidence of the opposite? [/quote]

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