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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Couple of thoughts:
-I think focusing on the fancy vacations, etc. is not helpful. A) they had the money at the time and probably just assumed -without really knowing- that they could swing it with no repercussions. And, B) I don't subscribe to the "you should never have a luxury even if not rich" crowd. I think splurges are fine sometimes. And really, what does it matter now?
-Having said all of that, their financial choices are their own. You are not obligated to maintain their lifestyle for them, esp. if you are not able to do so. Do not sacrifice your family's finances, for sure.
-They spend down and rely on the government benefits and whatever else you choose to do for them. Your MIL's not wanting to do that is irrelevant. And she's at your "mercy" so she doesn't really have a choice.
-You and your DH come to an agreement on what, if anything, you choose to help with. Then that needs to be unequivocally communicated to your inlaws so that they have appropriate expectations. Let them bi--- and whine but make sure your boundaries are fully communicated.[/quote]

This and:  they should be able to find a 1-bedroom in a senior community that they can afford. They could consider renting their house out to pay for that while hopefully having some leftover. They could then wait to sell that to pay for any needed senior care facilities.  My friend’s mother was in a very pleasant senior apartment — recently renovated — that was about $1100 a month.  They had access to home health care aides (extra $) and managed to stretch that out for a few years.  DO NOT sacrifice your own savings unless you really have a lot. [/quote]

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