Reply to More of a vent because the die is cast

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The die isn’t cast here, OP. Your in laws have already spent recklessly but there are options from here on out — “helping” them budget their remaining funds and make lifestyle changes now in exchange for helping them some when the money does run out versus fully supporting them when the money runs out versus letting the government take care of them versus finding a retirement community NOW that they can afford either on their own (proceeds from house) or with minimal help from you. The die isn’t cast.[/quote]

Yes, you are right. I guess I feel cast in the sense that there is no way to get that money back and now we have to face this when we have other pressing demands.

So here's where I'm in a quandary: the CW I heard with my parents is that the least expensive option is to remain in the family home as long as possible. Is that still the case? Or have others heard to the contrary? From what I can tell, I think my MIL will be able to get along for awhile at home, including driving (always has been a good driver and continues to be so). IDK, however, how long my FIL will be able to manage or my MIL manage w/him.

[b]I guess there are no real right answers here. My parents' situations were dictated by money, then finding the best place within that budget. Just wish I had a better sense if there a preferred way to proceed. [/b]

Thanks for breaking out the options - very helpful.[/quote]

I think that is the right answer.  It certainly is the right answer for your inlaws.  They just need to accept that, and it's going to be a real shift for them.  [/quote]

Yeah, you're right. I'm just dreading the possible conflict. Never wanted to be in the situation when having to explain something like this to my ILs. Or sit by while DH does.[/quote]

Why do you feel like you have to be there for this? Can’t your husband have these conversations with them himself? Are you worried he will promise them a bunch of things if you are not there? The conflict should be your husband’s problem to solve.[/quote]

I meant sit by more figuratively. DH and I talk about all these kinds of dilemmas and decisions. We did it with my parents, though there never was a big outlay of cash in the end, and we are now doing it with his. I am not at all worried about his making promises we haven't agreed on - if the conversation went in a different direction and he felt he was facing pressure, he would probably tell them that these were new factors and he needed time to think about it.

I don't think he has necessarily fully briefed his sibling on the situation. That could be tense when the sibling realizes there will be minimal to no inheritance. When one sibling has a greater net wealth than another, does the one with significantly less money still make some sort of contribution? Sibling's spouse will inherit something as an only child but not as much as I think sibling was expecting here. [/quote]

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