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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I never know what to make of this so I thought I’d ask here!

My DH travels for work almost exclusively. He’s gone 4-5 days a week. We make the most of the weekends as a family, and about once a month/every six weeks, our kids visit their grandma, my MIL, for a visit. DH usually takes them and kills, really, three birds with one stone: I get a break alone, DH visits his mother, and MIL gets to see the kids.

The issue is, she complains to him constantly about how she doesn’t see the kids enough in between. The thing is, she refuses to visit with them when DH isn’t home. I would LOVE for her to come and take them to dinner one evening while DH is away, for example. DH had suggested this to her, encouraged it, and we’ve all explained to her that I’m just a call or text away if she’s ever in the mood for a weekday visit, or even a weekend visit. She never takes us up on the offer, yet complains.

No, it isn’t an issue with driving, nor any other mobility issue. She’s a strapping young 60-something woman who plays pickle ball and will happily drive herself home in the dark after the orchestra or theater.

Why won’t she arrange visits with my children without DH there? I hate that it feels personal. What could I be missing?[/quote]

(1) You rarely accompany your husband when he takes the kids to visit his mother.
(2) You don't actually want her to visit, you want her to babysit.

She doesn't take him up on it because the two of you aren't close (indeed, you've made it fairly clear you aren't interested in spending time with her) and for whatever reason, she doesn't want to babysit.  How many kids do you have?  How old are they?  How far is the drive?  [/quote]
This isn’t about babysitting, I have a sitter I pay if I need one. I have all that covered! This is simply a question of why my MIL will complain about missing our kids but then will do nothing to see them.[/quote]

[b]And yet, here you state in your OP:  [i]I would LOVE for her to come and take them to dinner one evening while DH is away, for example.[/i]  You say similar things in other responses.  [/b]This isn't about babysitting, my big Aunt Fanny.[/quote]

You've stated that you are happy to hire a babysitter, but you've also made it clear that you only want Grandma to come over if she is going to take the kids off your hands.  Not because you need her to - after all, you have the paid babysitter - but because you don't seem to see any other reason for her to come over.  You don't want her to come over and just visit with you and the kids.  Does she ever come over when DH [i]is [/i]home?  
[/quote]
I’m not the one complaining about not seeing the GRANDKIDS when my husband is away. I don’t care if she sees them. If I need a break, I have a sitter. I like my MIL just fine, but I don’t particularly want the added work of hosting her during the work week when my husband is away, particularly because it’s always an awkward interaction. It’s nice if she just comes and takes them out if she wants to see them. If she doesn’t want to do that, then she doesn’t see them. But then she should stop complaining. [/quote]

Well, I think we’ve figured out why she doesn’t visit when your DH isn’t there. :-)[/quote]
And I won’t apologize for it. It’s hard enough juggling everything when he’s not home. I’m not introducing more stress and responsibility into my life. I guess it is what it is. I’ll ask my husband not to tell me when his mother is complaining. [/quote]

You're a piece of work, OP.  Wow.

NP[/quote]

+1. And I was Team OP up until her last few posts. It's pretty clear why the MIL doesn't want to visit. She'd like to see the kids more, but OP's disdain/coldness/hostility turns her off.[/quote]
It’s hard being the only parent during the week and then having to also worry about the emotions of other grown adults. Who is worrying about OPs emotions though? Clearly not this MIL. She could be offering help, instead she’s complaining. [/quote]
I’m not team OP, but even if I were, the MIL is not complaining to OP and OP does not need to worry about MaiL’s feelings (not that she is). OP has said many times she doesn’t need any help, so why would MIL offer to help her? Obviously her husband needs to stop telling OP everything his mom says to him. Problem solved.[/quote]

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