Reply to Are you envious of your friends and neighbors who have local and super-involved grandparents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents live close and are super involved since they're retired. I'm actually embarrassed by it! Like people assume I have all this childcare so I should be more active than I am in the school, work etc. Or I always feel left out of the nanny/babysitter/after care conversations. But maybe it is just in my head. Anyhow, interesting to hear another perspective.  [/quote]

Hahahaha, good one, PP, you almost had me for a second! 😂🤣[/quote]

I do judge the parents of the kid who is always dropped off at school or soccer by their grandparents and never fully in school uniform or missing jersey/shin guards/cleats/all 3. I judge them because the grandparents look tired and are constantly giving the parents “date weekends” in Italy, Hawaii, Turks and Caicos, etc. I wouldn’t judge you for not volunteering or not working overtime.

I think people only judge if you have a million extra adults in your orbit but still can’t manage the basics and/or burden the community with them. Otherwise, I’m envious of your local grandparents but also super happy to have them around! They’re usually warm and friendly and have great, calming advice. [/quote]

Is this common? I don’t live in DC but, where I live, people who can’t afford a lot of extra childcare aren’t jetting all over the world and people who can afford this can also afford quality childcare in instances when grandparents don’t want to step in [/quote]

+1. I am well below the income level needed to jet off to the Caribbean for a weekend, but I have my childcare buttoned up. Grandparents are there to spend quality time when and as they wish. It’s a matter of pride in being able to afford my own lifestyle.[/quote]

“Afford my lifestyle” apparently means, for you, money can buy anything. Which is super weird when you’re talking about your own children. I have exactly one set of grandparents and a close cousin and her family that I’d feel comfortable leaving my young children with for multiple overnights in a row. Has nothing to do with money- we could definitely “afford” to pay a babysitter to stay overnight, but never would. Assuming that people who use family as childcare in these situations do so because they’re poor is…laughable. [/quote]

“Afford my lifestyle” means I can afford to pay for childcare when grandparents do not want to be the childcare. Of course they get first right of refusal for overnights, but if they are tired or busy I am not going to force them.[/quote]

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