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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much does she earn at her current job?

What are your childcare plans and costs if she goes back to work? Childcare is so expensive that in some cases the extra stress you get from work and having to balance home and work life is just not worth the extra bit of income[/quote]

OP here. She earns a little over $100k. One of the main reasons for her quitting is it will be hard to find childcare given that she would prefer to go back PT. Her original plan was to go back PT 3 days a week, but we many nannies we looked at all wanted FT. We would need to do it the legal way and I assumed with rates of a nanny in the area and taxes, we would be spending about $40-50k on a PT nanny. [/quote]

The math isn’t mathing. Why would a PT nanny cost $50k?

What would the hourly rate be and the total bi-weekly hours worked?[/quote]

I had a full-time nanny that we paid, on the books, and she was not $100k per year so I’m curious to know the answer to this.
$50-70k could get you a FT nanny.[/quote]

OP here. I’m probably over estimating the cost of a PT nanny. [/quote]

I think a nanny share would be perfect for you guys.

I’m a sahm and would not be if DH put me on a budget/allowance. Please note that if she is home, she will have more time to spend money. She won’t be spending less. She will likely spend more. You know your wife best. Is she the type that would want the nicer stroller, travel stroller, cute baby clothes. Is she social and likely to meet up with other UMC for coffee, brunch and lunch? She will want to drop the baby weight and keep the gym membership.

I definitely know some SAHMs on a budget. I have one friend whose husband lets her have a break but doesn’t want her to spend any money on that break. That would not work for me. I went on stroller walks with friends and we would go out for coffee and/or lunch. When kids were older, we would check out various kid activities. All this costs money. Your wife won’t just sit at home spending less money.[/quote]

OP here. We do not want a nanny share. We do not the idea of another kids and dealing with other parents who will be employers. My wife is fully against this.

I’m not saying she can’t spend money. I just don’t think she needs everything she has now.

We have

Hello Fresh 
Freshly 
Daily Harvest 
Butcher Box

She gets weekly massages + facials, nails done every two weeks, hair every 6 weeks, and a gym membership that she hasn’t gone to since she gave birth.

I don’t mind the gym membership, nails, hair cut, etc., but I think she can scale the massages and facials back to twice or once a month and get rid of some of these meals services. We spend about $1000/month on food services on top of groceries. 
[/quote]

First of all, this is nuts. We have two kids and a higher income than you. I get my hair cut once a year if that (often cut myself), no nails, no massage, no gym  membership for either of us — if we want to exercise we hike or play sports with the kids or go for a walk. No meal services — WTF? How are you guys going to save money with this kind of lifestyle? I’m guessing there is a lot of shopping also. Kids are expensive and your income is low for the area. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll go for a $120 skin care product once or twice a year and we travel frequently and eat out. But what you describe is a constant stream of pretty expensive non-essential stuff.

My main concern with her quitting is that she seems to be quite low maintenance and enjoy relaxing and luxuries. That’s not compatible with staying home with kids on your income. Who is going to watch the kids while she does her hair, nails, gets massages? If she stays home she needs to learn to cook on a budget which means being good at shopping and meal planning. Not blowing $1k a month on pre-packaged food. Does she know how much work kids are, and is she ready to focus on someone besides herself? I’d be quite concerned that someone who likes all that stuff might not adjust to the lifestyle constraints and feel stifled. My advice would be to get a FT nanny and keep her job. If she wants PT just keep searching, you may be able to find a share. It’s worth it for someone like her to keep her job and income.

[/quote]
+1 I'm a DW,  and was sahm for a bit, and your wife seems a bit of a princess and entitled.

I don't like cooking, and didn't know how to cook when I became a sahm. But, I learned (and my DH and kids were super patient with me as I learned).   She can do her own nails. She can go out for a walk with your kid.

You need to put your foot down:  "I'm supportive of you sah, but we need to cut back on expenses. If we don't do that, then we can't support you sah."[/quote]

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