Reply to Feeling different about my parent's divorce now as an adult....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't outright resent her but she was wrong to complain about those things to you.[/quote]

I think we have the benefit of 40+ years of, for lack of a better term, divorce culture in knowing it was wrong for her to complain. There is so much advice out there now on the internet, in books etc, about how to handle a divorce most appropriately when there are children involved. OP’s mom probably  didn’t have a Parenting - Special Concerns forum to consult on how to do it right. I find that when I am frustrated with how my parents handled things, I sometimes can give them a little more grace when I remember that they didn’t have a world of information literally in their pocket like we do now to help them with things that seem so obvious to me. [/quote]

Oh yes. She was supposed to divorce him but prop him up as an amazing person and father so the kids what? Believed he was wonderful and for unknown reasons the parents divorced. She had custody and moved to where she had a support network and can afford to raise kids. Do you really think living in squalor so you can see your alcoholic father more, whatever that means, is the solution to it all?

Thank goodness you don’t have anyone with addiction or disorders in your life. It’s hell. Even for adult children. [/quote]

And in many cases, being near to supportive grandparents is much better for the kids. [/quote]

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