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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, did you say that you were a single parent? I think that this will also play into the equation. Two kids are obviously, MUCH more difficult to raise by yourself, than one. I have a single friend that has two children. Their early teen years were really, really rough, and she felt like she was coming apart at the seams, with how stretched she was to manage all the demands on her time. Things are just starting to settle down a bit, now that they're a bit older.

I have an only, and have friends that have anything from 1-3 children. Most of the onlies, mine included, have wished they had siblings at some point in their lives (mine very specifically, wanted a girl twin). Almost all the kids with siblings have wished they didn't have siblings (or specific sibling), at some point in their lives. It all ebbs and flows, and changes from year to year.

In the end, you just don't know how the dynamics are going to end up, and whether they will end up having close relationships with their siblings. Lord knows there are plenty of people whose primary support system are their friends, and not relatives.[/quote]

All of this.  I set out to have an only ("one and done") and then for a while I thought it might be nice to have two so we TTC, but it didn't work out and now, most days, I'm glad it didn't.  DD understands the benefits of being an only and also sometimes wants a sibling.  There is no one perfect thing that will always make you happy.

But one of the reasons that I wanted an only is that I knew DH and I would deal poorly with certain parenting stresses.  My mother tended to be a martyr to her family and I didn't want to do that.  I wanted to be fully present for my kid (or for both of us to be fully present) and also still have time for me.  With two parents and one kid we can take breaks and cover each other and it's STILL pretty hard.  I know there are single parents of multiple kids, obviously, but for me personally that wouldn't be my choice. [/quote]

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