Reply to what leads parents to be completely delusional about their kids' abilities?

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Reply to "what leads parents to be completely delusional about their kids' abilities?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As for the ivy talk -- if your kid is in about 3rd-4th grade, it'll work itself out by 9th-10th grade so ignore it for another 5 yrs.

From personal experience, there were a LOT of kids who did really well in elementary school and well in middle school. It honestly isn't hard to be a straight A student if you're of medium intelligence, you try, and you're in a home where grades/homework etc. are emphasized. That makes parents think "oh my kid is a genius" he's gotten straight As for 8 straight yrs.

The ivy bound kids start to separate themselves by 9th-10th grade though. In part because they really have to bust their a$$ if they want to even have a legit shot for an ivy, and that's not something (most) parents can mandate -- unless they are tiger parents. The kids themselves need to be willing to take 15 APs and get As in them, be a leader at school/sports/community. It's a rare kind of kid that will work that hard for the small % chance of acceptance.

There were many who were consistently straight A students in elementary who by high school were ranked in the 50th percentile. I don't mean to suggest they weren't smart -- they were. But they chose other things. Some decided they had a passion for one thing -- say science -- and would devour any and all science opportunities but were ok being in honors level classes for everything else. Some were told their parents couldn't afford out of state/ivy, so they figured -- why kill myself for it. Some discovered that they didn't mind being in state or frankly found a "passion" for video games or sports or dating or being popular or whatever and school was back burner. Point is -- as much as a parent can insist their child is ivy bound, with an acceptance rate that has hovered at the 7% mark or lower for the last 10 yrs -- I wouldn't make anything of it until the kid is holding a signed letter from admissions a decade from now.[/quote]

Just want to comment as a mom to older kids, as the years go on the bragging diminishes. Of course there are parents who are genuinely competitive by nature or who are clueless (or both) but overall the parental "noise" lessens. One reason might be that these once bragging parents start to see that their child is not going to make it to that Ivy college or play DI sports as they had been convinced of years ago. But I believe another reason is that high school should be and in a healthy environment is a time where teenagers grow into themselves. The kids start directing their lives more and the bragging parents have no choice but to take a back seat like the PP explains above.[/quote]

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