Reply to Everyone's Too Busy to Be Friends

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[quote=Anonymous]We moved three times when I was a kid. I remember my Mom telling me that it takes 2-3 years to really form a group of friends and feel fully settled in a new area. It takes time to meet people and talk and then hang out a bit and then move into a deeper friendship. It is not over night. And you need to be doing things that allows that to happen. For our family, as a kid, part of it was Church. Mass, Sunday School and special events at the Church allowed the kids and parents to meet each other. Bible Study and Church projects helped my Mom click with other parents. It helped that they all had a common starting point. There were relationships that developed in the neighborhood as well but those took longer to form.

As an adult, I found that I got to know people through sports (softball and soccer leagues) and at work. As an adult with a child it was through Scouts. All of my friends that I have made in the neighborhood have come through Scouts. And yes, we have gone apple picking and camping with those families.

The DMV does not seem to be all that different then the other states I lived in, on the East and West Coast. There always seem to be a group of people who grew up in the area and know each other well that is near impossible to hang out with or get to know. They are bonded over their experiences growing up and then their kids. It is worse on the East Coast area where families go back to the 1700’s, and yes I know people who can trace their family back to the Mayflower. Mom said it was worse in the DMV because so many people come for 2-3 years and then move, whether they are in the military or State Department or a temporary assignment to the region. Those families tend to bond together because they have common experiences with moving frequently and in some of the postings but are gone before you can establish strong relationships.

You have to keep putting yourself out there and trying different groups. Lower your initial expectations, strong bonds take time. Appreciate the people that you find initially and see where that goes.

I love my group of socially awkward, transplants to the area. We have a great time together and our kids get along nicely. But it took time.[/quote]

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