Reply to Everyone's Too Busy to Be Friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lived in the DMV for a number of years. Our kids were small, then teens. It was very difficult to make friends, period. The entire time. I tried at first, but over time realized that the people are too busy striving -- for lack of a better word. If you do not have something offer them that they want, they move on. That thing might be free babysitting, a professional connection that gets them ahead, a side hustle customer/someone they can get to buy from them, someone with trade skills who could be useful as free work around their house (fix a faulty sink, install a new light fixture), etc.

Sorry to break it to you, but DMV folks don't just create time for other people unless those people serve them in some way. It is a culture that uses people.[/quote]

I’ve seen iterations of this frequently on DCUM and in this very thread.  To me, it seems like striving, transactional transplants exclusively seek out other striving transactional transplants for friendships— and get disappointed when the striving or the transactional goals get in the way of developing deeper friendships.

Meanwhile, many of us “DMV folks” who have often lived in the area for generations, continue to prioritize our friendships with lifelong and newer true friends. And sometimes we trade skills and resources— because real friends often do.  🍿. Years ago I was told, possibly in Girl Scouts, that the best way to have a friend is to BE one. [/quote]

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