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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know about you OP, but I think my difficulty in being totally zen about my MIL is my secret fear that my husband will wind up like her because maybe it's in his genes. I also find it difficult to try to keep my heart open to her when she's such a wackadoodle. It's gotten to the point where my tweens tell me how weird and annoying she is, and I have some niggling guilt that maybe they are picking up on how I feel about her (though really, I think it's just obvious to anyone that she's a wackadoodle, and she puts a lot of that energy into her grandkids so it makes sense they would see it). She's becoming distraught that our kids are entering their teens without her fundamentalist beliefs and that's causing tension as well. She tries to indoctrinate them on the sly but they just relate everything to me and say, "Nonna said X, Y, Z but I don't believe that."

I think I also recognize that I LOVE being a mother and that it will be hard for me when my kids become older too. I have daughters and so I think society expects more of a closeness into adulthood than if I had sons. So maybe I see my MIL as some technicolor version of what I fear I'll become. I don't know. I'm probably overthinking it, lol. It's a situation that will annoy you forever, probably. There's some freedom in just accepting that. Know that your kids will see her for who she is. Try to give her as much respect and love as you can without sacrificing your well being. Smile and nod. Say, "Hmmm, I don't know" whenever she tries to conduct therapy with you. If all else fails, ask her about her favorite subject . . . herself.
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