Reply to Relatives' lack of interest in my father who had cognitive issues. Is this normal?

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Reply to "Relatives' lack of interest in my father who had cognitive issues. Is this normal?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I can't believe this thread has gone on and on as it is simple that OP and her husband made a choice on how to care for her dad that they needed to work out.  [b]One can't expect relatives to carry the load that a direct family member would do.[/b]  It is not blaming OP just a statement that if dad did not want to address other care options even where he live such as assisted living or a CCRC by selling the house, well a choice was made.  Time to move on with your life OP.[/quote]

This is the bottom line. OP, you can be resentful of your father for being stubborn and selfish in his decision not to move closer to your family when he was able to do so but he is long gone and you are better off working through your guilt, grief and anger with a therapist. My ILs made the decision to move from the east coast to the west once they retired to be in the same city as their children. They reaped the rewards of that big move many times over by being able to be a greater part of their children and grandchildrens’ lives as well as when they needed assistance in their old age. By choosing to keep everything status quo (remaining in their house and far away from you), your parents put this burden on you in a most unkind way. You need to be kind to yourself and tell yourself that you did your best in a very difficult situation. Your extended family helped your father and you should be grateful not envious or resentful. [/quote]

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