Reply to Relatives' lack of interest in my father who had cognitive issues. Is this normal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in the exact same situation and after my mom was hospitalized I forced her to move 5 minutes away from me in an assisted living place. That is what you should have done. Of course she didn’t want to move, and it was a pain in the ass to move her out of her house, sell her things, and sell her house to pay for assisted living but it had to be done. You can manage it from 300 miles. You have no idea how hard it is even with a parent 5 minutes away. I am 100% sure your relatives were resentful you refused to move your father close to you. You weren’t being called multiple times a day to take him to the store or appt. Own the fact that you didn’t do the right thing and stop resenting your relatives.[/quote]

This is the OP. I wasn't going to come back to this thread but here I am ...

Moving my father close to us -  DH and I discussed this at the time but we decided against it because
 
1. My father didn't want to move. There was no way he was going to willingly agree to sell his house and move. He was very strong willed. You can't 'force' someone to sell up and move against their wishes if they still possess their mental capabilities. Medically speaking he was 'compos mentis'.

2. We didn't think it was OK to move him 300 miles away from his familiar surroundings, the place he grew up and the house he had shared with my mom for nearly 30 years.

Imagine I had moved him close to us. DH and I both worked. DH's work was 1.5 hours away from home. He was out all day. I worked for a local school, in the classroom with the kids. My father still would have been on his own most of the day, even with home health aides.

Yes, my father did sometimes rang my uncle and his wife multiple times a day, to buy him stuff or drive him to an ATM or something. I know this because they told me. It's the reason they stopped helping.

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