Reply to Boyfriend is NOT a planner- do you have this dynamic?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Invite a friend to join you at the backup hotel you booked, or cancel the backup hotel and go visit your NYC friend.  Announce to your BF that you've made other plans for that weekend and then - this is key - do not change those other plans no matter what he says or does.  [/quote]

OP: I can do this, and I'm sure he will get it, but then do we just keep dating and not talk about it? I know I'm not going to want to be the cruise director in the relationship long-term...[/quote]

Well, when you tell him to forget it and that you’ve made other plans, I don’t think his response is going to be “oh okay, cool.”  No, he’s going to ask you to reconsider, promise he’ll book today, etc., and then you can have the conversation about how you got the impression he wasn’t that eager to go away with you, weekends are precious, etc. so you made other plans.

I guess the alternative is you drop the subject altogether and see what he comes up with (accepting that he may do nothing and you’ll have wasted a long weekend).  Who knows, maybe it’ll turn out amazing.

Under no circumstances should you go to the hotel you booked (unlimited you go solo or with a friend).  If he wants to spend prime time holiday weekends with you he’s gotta put in some effort - if he wanted to he would![/quote]

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