Reply to What's the problem with dating a separated person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He’s still married, for one. And unless he’s a robot he’s still very much grieving that marriage and he’s still thinking about what went wrong and he’s still hurt and mad at her. Alllll that will come up in your relationship in surprising ways.[/quote]

That is complete rubbish.

I was in a dead marriage for a number of years, yet provided for a stable home for by children until they went off to college, and had money set aside for them to graduate debt-free.]

Once I separated from my ex- years after marriage counseling collapsed, there was no grieving whatsoever. None. I had done what so many here on DCUM espouse - provided stability for my children. Once they were young adults living elsewhere, I had a tremendous sense of relief and peace.[/quote]

I agree.  I could have written this, pretty much.  My ex started dating before the divorce was final and, when I learned this, I griieved for about 5 minutes. Then I got on some dating apps myself and had some real realtionships for the next six months while the divorce process was underway.  When the divorce became final I did grieve for a day, and then I continued to date.

I always disclosed my status.  A few people cared but the vast majority (80 to 90 percent) did not.

I recently updated my profile to say I am divorced and several of the 10 to 20 percent who cared have reached out to me to see if I want to talk or meet.

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