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College and University Discussion
Reply to "I’ve been honest with my daughter about what we can afford but…."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Frankly, I would not apply to schools that you can't afford and can't believe posters are supporting or suggesting this. It's much easier to be realistic up front and talk up other options than to have a dream acceptance in hand and then have to tell your kid you can't swing it. Get her excited about her choices!! And those who are suggestions she pay back parents from lucrative future earnings are just asking for trouble. What if she gets disabled? Switches majors? Goes to an interminable PhD program? Takes a job that doesn't pay the money you think she should be making? Decides to take a year off and travel? Decides that X, Y or Z is more important to spend money on than paying back mom and dad? All kinds of things could and do happen in family loan arrangements like this. My husband's parents put him on a payment plan for money he borrowed from them for medical school. For many reasons, this was an albatross in the relationship until that money was paid off. It's much better to not intermix loans and family, even parents. [/quote] [b]She can manage her own college application process and her own emotions. I’m very surprised at the people who want to insulate their kids from making hard choices. [/b[/quote] I normally let my kids make their own decisions/hard choices, even when I know they don't fully understand the consequences. But this choice involves tens of thousands of dollars of MY money, not theirs. If I have to pay, then you better believe I will have veto power (they can choose whatever schools they want to apply to as long as we can afford it). Also, do you really think 17-years old are capable on their own of effectively managing their emotions? Scientific studies show their brains are NOT fully developed at that stage, plus they lack a lot of life experience, so they need a little help in gaining perspective. [/quote]
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