Reply to Anyone Been Disinherited?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over  $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate. 
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren.  And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on) 
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.[/quote]

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally[/quote]

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them. [/quote]

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids[/quote]

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness. [/quote]

I am not the pp who was in the situation, so it was perfectly hypothetical for me. I think I would feel more sad that I was completely cut out, and obviously it would depend on how siblings handled it. You're probably just a much better person than me. Getting left out of $10M would be hard. I mean going to dinner with them and having to split the bill, yeah no. [/quote]

Who said anything about shouting the bill? Would you cut a sibling out of your life who inherited when you didn’t?[/quote]

DP: I might if they didn't try to resolve the inequity or at least engage in conversation about it because that's a sign that they are fine with the situation.  Depends on the prior relationship with the sibling.  But I think I would find it hard to be chummy if they were just like, too bad I was mom's favorite.  Might just be a christmas/birthday card/visit them if they are in the hospital kind of relationship after that.[/quote]

Wow. So they received a gift (essentially) and because you didn’t, if they don’t right a perceived wrong committed by the gift giver, you’ll cut them out. Wow.

And you don’t really mean just engage in a conversation about it. Because if they did and offered you nothing, you’d - once again - not be okay with it. [/quote]

Yep, because it's a pretty hard thing to deal with that your mother decided to put this wedge between you and your sibling--and that the sibling is okay with it persisting.  Now if there was some convincing reason without offering me something--like the mom felt the sibling was needier, or that they had paid for more of my college or whatever.  But if not, what's the tie then really? Stay tied to family who want to show that they loved the other sibling more and the sibling is fine with it?  Doesn't sound like relationships I want to pour any significant effort into and I would be better off developing relationships with people who actually love and care about me.[/quote]

I wouldn’t take this approach, but you do you, boo. [/quote]

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