Reply to Should my sister go on vacation when my dad is dying?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Her *family* may need this vacation. Really need it.
It isn't -only- about your parents
Their life is not only about your parents[/quote]
This! For 3 months she has been a mother, wife, daughter, caregiver, employee. She’s grieving, scared, exhausted. She’s been pulled in lots of directions until she’s stretched very thin. This is when her kids are out of school and she and her husband arranged to take vacation. They can’t just do this any old week of the year. Her kids have probably gotten much less of her attention these last 3 months. I seriously doubt she and her husband have been having date nights. This is their opportunity to reconnect, escape the daily grind of these past 3 months, and just be there for each other during this difficult time.

I was with my father for the last 40 days of his life. You can’t know what that’s like without going through it. He aged a decade in his last week. It was horrific to witness. My mother, brother and I were traumatized by mental images of him on his deathbed.  Pack up your baby and get yourself there. Help your mom with the funeral arrangements. That’s the easy part.[/quote]

+1. You don't even have to travel for the funeral arrangements. I made my father's funeral arrangements on the phone from the opposite side of the country. OP, your mom and sister have been existing in a medical hell since Easter. My father's decline was 20 days. He was terminally ill, so it was not a surprise, but being there for the daily stuff is really different than being across the country. I have done both, and the daily experience is really grueling, wrecks your sense of time, and in general is something a person needs to recover from. If your sister is taking some time, I would encourage you to stop thinking about that time as "a vacation." She is traveling with her family in order to connect with her family during a time of family crisis. It's not a vacation anymore than maternity leave is, regardless of whether she's traveling or staying home.[/quote]

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