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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.

Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.

My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …

Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick. [/quote]

Ok, so she knows the expectations.  She knows that you asked for her to do extra hours occasionally on weekends for extra pay.  You shouldn't have paid last week, she arrived and didn't work yesterday, but since you did with no expectation of anything out of it, you just need to let that go.  She had two weeks off for rematch, presumably the third was to travel after she made the match?

Reset conversation.

Go get her, sit her down and tell her you need her to work three hours this afternoon so that you can rest.  Normally, you would give her the option, but as your husband can't be reached, you're feverish, and she's there, there's no choice.  You'll pay her the agreed rate for extra weekend hours, and the total weekly will not exceed 45.

Set the expectation now that if she knows something needs to be done (like helping bc you're ill), she'll pitch in.  She'll be paid, but she needs to help.[/quote]

au Pair is under no obligation to help on her time off
  OP opted for cheap help.[/quote]

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