Reply to Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM

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Reply to "Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary. [/quote]

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce? [/quote]

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.[/quote]

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..[/quote]

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.[/quote]

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS![/quote]

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing."  Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential.  I'd go back to court on this one.[/quote]

Meant: Most judges would have called him out[/quote]

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses. [/quote]
What state did you divorce in?[/quote]
DC[/quote]
Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?[/quote]

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year[/quote]

This is what I think VA and MD should do at a minimum. It really is unfair that the child is now at college and can't pay for their own living expenses and one parent has to foot that bill entirely even just for food and other basics.[/quote]

Living expenses are way above $7k/year. My ex is spending high on his girlfriend (Caribbean vacations, jewelry etc_) and on his house (a custom gym, added pool etc). But he told son to go take loans or work flipping burgers. 
That same father told son a few years ago to drop a sport because he didn't want to drive him to practices on 50/50 custody schedule. My son is 6'3 and very athletic, he could have had his room &board completely free as a college athlete.

My exH is bitter I got 50% assets and am relatively ok. He wants ME to pay for the son's college living expenses, out of a spite[/quote]

I don't really mind a child having to pay for a degree or college, but it just seems unfair that they also have to pay for their room and board if instead they could be working but are doing this so they will be more self sufficient in the future. And often that becomes a parent's job to finance. I just think if we are basically requiring kids to go to school longer for most jobs in the US that their clothing and food and basics should be covered just like medical and insurance also covers through this time. DC obviously agrees.[/quote]

I also agree that my son should work to some extent when in college, but his side job shouldn't be an only option for him how to pay for his R&B. This money would be better spent investing, saving for a downpayment etc. And I won't be paying for his R&B unless my exH pays pro-rata our current incomes. For that reason,  I told son he should go to a local college and then my "support" will be free room&board at my house.
I did my BA abroad (non US born), and college education was free for everyone in my birth country. I did work part time throughout college but continued living with parents and just out the money I earned in the  "family budget" pot. 
In the US these are very young kids are being kicked out from parents' homes to fend for themselves or take on high interest loans (which often has lifetime consequences)
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