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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have second home on MDs Eastern Shore which we have let my DHs sister’s family use when we know we won’t be there. We arrived yesterday and discovered her DH’s brother and his wife and 2 kids (unknown to us beyond meeting at their wedding 8 years ago/no relation to us) using our pool, pool house, outdoor kitchen, screened porch. It was obvious from their supplies they were set up to spend weekend plus there! We found out the BIL had told them he was sure we wouldn’t mind, told them key code, etc. Although they did pack up & leave it was super awkward with pauses where they obviously were waiting for us to tell them to stay. My DH called his sister and her excuse for her DH was that he assumed we wouldn’t mind, assumed (for zero reason) we wouldn’t be using and anyway - hey he didn’t give them key code to house so obviously respectful of our privacy! WTF?!? We obviously changed key codes but DH so pissed he wants to disinvite his sister/BIL from our usual Labor Day shared weekend - which I understand but it punishes our kids as they love this tradition with their cousins.
This is mostly a vent but I’m just shocked they thought nbd…and trying not to wonder who else they’ve had stay there.
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Wow! Did not read all the pages on this thread, but for me this would have been a huge breach of trust.

How would have I handled it?  I would have probably told the uninvited guests (UG) to hang around, use the pool, have a drink and a meal with us (grill burgers?) before they left for their home, because I would not have wanted to embarrass them in front of their children. Also, I would have blamed my SIL and BIL for the snafu and given the benefit of doubt to the UGs.

I would also not have disinvited SIL-BIL from the LDW, in fact, I would have treated them like just another guest and would have also invited the uninvited guests and their kids for the LDW... BUT, SIL-BIL and family would be told that they no longer  have access to our home, pool, vehicle or property - EVER, without our permission. All codes would be changed and all keys returned.  If I would find them really apologetic about the whole incident, maybe in a couple of years, I would give them one more chance and put this business behind me.  I don't like to muddy family relations but I am also a person who spells out my expectations up front.

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