Reply to If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?

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Reply to "If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Observationally, a lot of "functional" families that are drama-free, warm, welcoming, no abuse, addiction, codependency, etc. also tend to have this dynamic of exclusivity and "our home is a refuge, our family is better than everyone else". Not to say this is a bad thing, but in my experience having friends from these types of families, they breed sanctimony and judgement. Understandably so - when you come from a place of comfort and understanding you feel discomfort and even disgust when you're around dysfunction. [/quote]

I think this is true.  People from highly functional families tend to tell you that there's no alcoholism, no divorce, no whatever in their families, in a proud tone.[/quote]

It's all very complicated. Have a friend who grew up raised in a religion where it's your duty to have a big family and present it as functional and even aspirational. House was always pristine and everyone seemed to be beautiful, athletic and get straight As. Lots of loving family time. They had the perfect Christmas cards and letters and prided themselves on being the perfect family. So fast forward 3 out of 6 adult kids have left the religion and estranged from family. Another got divorced due to infidelity and her parents are livid they didn't work things out through the church and they are desperate to get her married off. Two others still in the religion are in unhappy marriages. My friend is one of the estranged ones and through therapy she has realized just how nuts her perfect family was. Parents won't even admit her brother is one of their kids anymore because he came out as gay. She's pretty sure her dad who rejected brother was having a gay affair with someone at the church now that she thinks about some things she walked in on.[/quote]

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