Reply to How can we better navigate this beach house dynamic?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How can we better navigate this beach house dynamic?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are you kids? My elementary age kids are up at 6:30-7am, especially with the light streaming in the crappy curtains at most beach rentals.

My kids get up and eat a quick bite and then go down to the beach to fly kites while my in-laws watch them. Then they all come back and we have the “proper” breakfast which is more like brunch. 
We plan activities every other day - nature center, cape May zoo, mini golf, etc. That gets us out for the day. We typically spend the most time one the beach in the later afternoon - and MIL gets to do her cooler thing for snacks and cocktail hour. 
There is still the expectation that we all sit around and chat for hours every night - but I have worked my way out of that. When I was pregnant, I “needed rest” and then I was “putting down the baby” or “staying close in case  the toddler wakes up scared in a strange place”. Now I’ve trained them them I will always go to bed early.

We have a similar vacation vibe with a similar group, we’ve just managed to shift the timeline. We do still have to eat lasagna my MIL makes ahead and freezes and brings in a cooler. Some things we can’t change. 
I bring homemade muffins and breads. I also make French toast casserole or strata the night before and pop it in the oven for the “real breakfast” after the early beach goers return. Assembling the breakfast recipe with my MIL “helping” is what I swap for light night wine drinking. [/quote]

What makes you think op should do what you do? Are you implying they are in the wrong because they aren't early risers? You're going to be this mil.[/quote]

My point is that prior to my husband and I having kids, the first grandkids, our beach vacation was almost identical to what OP described. However over time, we’ve worked with my in-laws to adjust to a different schedule that still checks the boxes that makes my in-laws feel like it’s also the vacation THEY want. It’s about actually trying to understand why certain aspects of “The Schedule” are important to the grandparents and finding ways to meet the same need. They want to be on the beach early - so they go with the kids. They want to eat a big breakfast- I’ve found ways to make that happen efficiently so it doesn’t take hours of prep and clean up. They want to take a cooler to the beach - fine, we’ll do snacks / happy hour. If OP could tap into what her in-laws find important and take the time to care, maybe she’d find a creative way for everyone to be happy. In my husband’s family, the wife of the family with the youngest baby has final veto on bedroom arrangements and the schedule and that’s no longer me - and that’s fine with me. My kids are old enough to be flexible. Hopefully when I am a MIL, I will have the sense my MIL has to defer to the parents’ judgement on schedule and activities. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics