Reply to How to forgive parents when they've never apologized?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in an exceptionally dysfunctional home with 2 siblings. The dysfunction involved neglect and alcoholism. At 40, I realize my parents have never changed in my lifetime. The only difference is they are getting older. My siblings and I had to fend for ourselves from a young age. Everyone in the family acts like things were normal and that we're not affected by the dysfunction. I have had a few rounds of therapy and have grown, but still feel a need for recompense for what I've been through. They will never acknowledge what they put us through and my siblings won't either. How can I move on and heal without getting an apology from my parents? [/quote]

What would happen if you told your parents: “Each of you behaves as though things were normal and not dysfunctional. It would help me if you would acknowledge that things were not normal and were dysfunctional. You could apologize, and we might be able to be closer after that”?[/quote]

I don't know what would happen, but I suspect (based on past discussions) that they would employ a variety of defense mechanisms including denial, minimizing, changing the subject, etc. As others have noted, I will never get an apology. I am feeling better than I was when I first wrote here. I am comforted knowing that others understand how I feel, although I also feel bad they suffered as children.[/quote]

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