Reply to Boyfriend might go on vacation with his ex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you need to proceed very carefully here. You are seven months into a relationship with a man who is not setting boundaries with an ex. If your ex partner has cancer you offered to take the kids more often. Or you are generous with child support. You don’t bring them on your family vacation. This is all wrong. People who are labeling you as somehow not having compassion don’t understand healthy boundaries. If you both have a small kids you need to really watch it here. This will not end well. I’m sorry, bc it sounds like you like him. But this has red flags all over it.[/quote]

Those are arbitrary boundaries though. Fine if you don’t like it, but very emotionally immature to act like there are universally objective boundaries about this kind of thing. [/quote]

There aren't universal boundaries, but there are general guidelines re: healthy ones, and I stand by my statement. BF inviting ex on family vacay seven months into a relationship with a new partner is a big, fat red flag. And no, OP's BF is not going to "fall back in love" with the ex. Life isn't a Kate Hudson rom-com. What's more likely is that this event is an indicator of co-dependence, which makes this guy a not-great partner for any new person. Does that make him a bad guy? Maybe not, but a bad boyfriend for OP with young kiddos? You bet.

And this is what dating is for. OP will find out one way or the other with this guy. But this scenario with the ex having cancer and the whole family vacay idea? Nope. No new relationship is growing organically here.

Sorry OP, and sorry for your BF's ex. Hope everyone does ok. [/quote]

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