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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because my kids were not receptive to "pushing" and it backfired.  Maybe your kids will practice the instrument but, mine didn't when they didn't want to play anymore.  It was a huge waste of time and money.  So that's one reason.  Second I realized that my kids are not mini-mes and should have autonomy to chose what they want to do.  And I want a relationship with them when they are older.[/quote]

OP here. My kid was originally not receptive to pushing, but with appropriate punishments for not responding to my pushing (ie: taking away phone privileges, not letting them take Driver's Ed, not letting them meet up with friends on weekends, and the occasionally yelling and fighting), they became receptive. And, IME, so will 99% of kids (barring a learning disorder). Kids WILL have to be receptive if their social life is on the line. [/quote]

God help any of your kids if they have a learning disorder---they would likely be a huge disappointment to you and you would not know how to deal.

Have no desire to be a "tiger parent".   I'd like my kids to hit adulthood and not hate me, not wish their life was different; I want them to be happy.  So forcing a kid to practice an instrument or loose their phone or not let them drive seems so controlling and unhealthy.  Your kid will likely grow up and want to do things differently for their own family, but may not due to family pressures.  Or they might have depression and anxiety thanks to this upbringing
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OP here -- I know they won't because they know how to take responsibility for themselves instead of blaming me for all of their problems. [/quote]

I appreciate your confidence now while your children live under your thumb. I look forward to your post in the midlife and eldercare forum about why your adult children never come to see you once they have their own resources.

I speak from the experiences of my own friends who are now adults who had parents like you.[/quote]

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