Reply to OP from an earlier thread back with an update.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re making the right choice. One thing you might consider is taking advantage of the addict-repentance stage to get everything documented— he admits to his addiction, admits to endangering the child, admits to illegal behavior, in a way that you can use to achieve full custody. Consult a lawyer (obviously!) but there’s no reason to waste this phase.[/quote]

Waste this phase??  You're disgusting.

As someone who's been working the program for 10 years sober, please do NOT take this pp's advice, OP... that is, unles you want to end up divorced? Because THAT was an extremely manipulative thing to suggest...

I hope you never have mental health or addiction challenges, and have family that are like you & treat you the way you suggest.

If you're trying to help a loved one who's an addict,  you're supposed to demonstrate all of the positive traits that you would like him to work on (such as transparency & honesty) in the hopes that he will begin to emulate you.

What you're NOT supposed to do, is act cold, calculating & untrustworthy, especially while they're looking to you for support & in their most vulnerable state.
[/quote]

While I agree that PP was incredibly callous, no, the OP doesn’t have to tolerate her DH’s behavior.  Many, many people who struggle with addiction expect to be rescued and given passes indefinitely.  They absolutely need support and care, but expecting family to do that with no end in sight is unreasonable, at best.  The OP has two young children who need a stable parent; is she supposed to sacrifice their well-being to care for her adult husband who refuses to care for himself?

OP, you need to consult an attorney, immediately.  You need to put your kids and yourself first.[/quote]

OP. Thanks :) I don’t plan on doing anything “manipulative”, but yea, I don’t feel any need to demonstrate positive traits or offer endless support at my own expense. I’ve been demonstrating positive traits our entire relationship and it hasn’t helped. I’ve certainly demonstrated being “hard working” the last few months and it’s just given him license to do less and less. I’ve always been transparent and honest and held myself to high standards.

I know the best thing I can do for him is hold him accountable. [/quote]

You’re welcome. :) Thinking that addiction can be cured by a significant other or family member’s support is completely inappropriate.  Your DH needs medical treatment - and you’re not responsible for his well-being, OP.  I’m sending you all the very best.[/quote]

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