Reply to OP from an earlier thread back with an update.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. Thanks for the responses. It helps to know some Internet strangers are on my side, ha.

We tried having a discussion and it was like beating my head against a wall. I *know* I’m being gaslit and yet he’s still making me question myself. He’s done a lot of therapy and so knows a lot of the buzzwords.

Like when I pointed out his behavior is classic addiction behavior, he asks me to judge him as an individual, not based off a textbook.

Or when I pointed out I can’t rely on him to handle cooking even just 2 nights a week, he’s says it’s simply not true. That he does do it, I just need to communicate. I said I have communicated it, and he’ll do it once or twice but then stop, and the only way I can get him to is if I physically sit down with him, help him write a grocery list, take him to the grocery store myself and make sure he buys everything. He says that’s normal and my problem is I don’t like to meal plan…wtf. I’ve been meal planning every week for months. I feel that with most couples, each person can write a grocery list on their own and then alternate who gets groceries each week.

The real kicker is when he said his weed use isn’t a problem. When I pointed out yesterday, he said it didn’t count. When I pointed out three weeks ago, he said staying up late one night isn’t a problem, just like if I stayed up a little later to have a beer. When I said sneaking off to “walk the dog” at 6pm when I’m in the thick of things is a problem, he said I encouraged him to go for walks. Yea, when I thought he was just struggling with depression, I said he could go for walks *for exercise and sunshine*, not as an excuse to skip out on family life and get high. He said “well I also did it for exercise, too!”

[b]Now he’s even saying it would be easier if I moved out because I have less stuff (most of our furniture is his from before we were married). Yea, way easier for me to move with 2 kids and 2 dogs. [/b]

This is all just so bizarre for me. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if he’s just been good at hiding everything from me, I don’t know if this is just all coming out with the new baby, I don’t know if he’s had some sort of mental break or what. I ended up speaking with his ex wife yesterday and she told me he had a bad drinking problem when they were married and hid liquor all over the house. I never would have suspected that, he never seemed to be a problem drinker to me but he admitted he will drink a lot and hide it. I guess he has just been very good at remaining functional but now it’s all fallen apart with a new baby. [/quote]

How absurd. Kick him to the curb.[/quote]

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