Reply to DH WFH is ruining our marriage (sorry, venting post)

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[quote=Anonymous]I am sympathetic. My DH is much more respectful and we have good separate places to work but it still feels like he’s watching me all the time. And he really isn’t! It’s just not really ever being alone or having free reign of the house. It’s not his fault but he is going to go back to the office a couple days a week soon and I am excited. I wish I could go back too (half home and half at the office was GREAT for me before the pandemic). I am personally not a fan of being home quite this much so I’m sure that’s part of my issue.

I would definitely try to get a designated work space at home even if it’s not your old office. If he won’t give it back he needs to agree to you having a real space with separation from the rest of the house. And you have to really really ignore him if he’s interrupting you- I do a lot of complicated data analysis and it makes me nuts to have some one talking to me when I’m trying to focus.

Also, I am wondering if the issue with the cooking is that he feels justified in not doing anything else because he’s spending forever making these elaborate meals? My husband will occasionally do this with other chores and it feels nit picky but we have had the discussion that there are c things that need to be done and if you just do one and spend all day on it (like deciding you will spend allllll day researching every possible decision related to a new service contract or something like that) it means I have to do all the other things. And to me it is not worth the extra $2 per month we save. So there has to be some middle ground. Thankfully my DH is a reasonable guy and realized he used to hate it when his mom would do that growing up so we only have that conversation once every couple years. But I have a friend whose husband loves gardening and will basically only help out with gardening chores which means they have a beautiful yard but she pays every bill, does all inside chores and all tasks involving the kids. They eventually got a cleaner which helped.

Also, who does all the dishes for these elaborate meals? If it’s you stop that. Aside from 2 nights a week. I also love to cook but so not like washing pots so we eat simple meals pretty often. [/quote]

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