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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I really don't relate to posters who are defending the grandmother. Any responsible person would make sure to cancel before anything is set in stone. It has nothing to do with length of trip, etc. The Grandma knew this before hand. Don't give me the "cold feet" crap. Grandma just ruined the start of OP's holiday and OP is left trying to salvage some fun and relaxation. Any of you would be furious if someone did this to your plans! I would.
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+100 [/quote]

-100. I would not be furious. I would change my plans, and that’s life. Because my kids’ health and well-being and safety is more important than a vacation. And I’ve seen directly bad outcomes from caregivers who were stretched to thin, and we’ve certainly all read about them. [/quote]

Absolutely agree.  If the grandmother feels she cannot take care of the kids, then you have to respect her health and state of mind and accept it.

She is not the parent of these children and she does not have to babysit these kids, especially if she thinks she cannot manage it.   I am aghast at people who are not concerned that an elderly person is saying that they cannot manage to provide childcare to their grandkids.  I would be more concerned about the MIL and make sure that she has her support system and she is looked after.  And I would not allow my kids to be taken care of by anyone who is feeling that they cannot do this.  There is a big difference to providing care for an hour every day vs taking care of these kids for long stretches for 12 days.

Anyways, what kind of sicko leaves their kids (less than 6 yrs old) for 12 days and goes for an international vacation? [/quote]

This. Right. Here.

Something similar happened with my mom backtracking on grandkid help for my sister a few years ago. It was so sudden and out of character for her that my sister pressed a bit. It turns out that my mom had had two recent near-accidents in the car and was just starting to question her driving abilities. She wasn’t yet ready to face it, but as my sister’s vacation drew nearer, my mom panicked and pulled out. My sister and her husband reworked their vacation and got some other family members to help out. But what The Deal was turned out to indeed be something significant with my mom’s overall health, independence and yes, capacity to take care of her grandchildren.[/quote]

Say what you want, neither of you would be happy with your MILs if they backed out of caregiving at the last minute, before an international (and expensive!) trip.
The MIL can have the best reasons in the world, but OP is out a lot of money, was counting on MIL, and you should acknowledge that it's a big disappointment.

I would be furious, OP. The least MIL could have done is back out sooner.
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NOPE.  DH and I depended on ourselves alone to look after our kids. Sure, every once in a while family members would help out here or there, but our children were our responsibility and we did not ask relatives to pitch in. We took our kids with us for all vacations/trips or one of us stayed home with the kids.

The low class thing was to ask the MIL to look after the kids.  Even now the MIL is only asking them to shorten their trip and not cancel it altogether.  OP is probably able to afford the money lost because she is throwing a lot of $$$ to ensure that she does not have to look after her children and take them on the trip.

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