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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Absolutely a stigma, but the SAHDs I know 100% deserve it. They stroll around in flip flops, maybe go out for a long lunch, bend the ear of everyone in the neighborhood at all times because they have nowhere to be, and pretty much do absolutely nothing all day. A far cry from the harried SAHMs who are actually cleaning, cooking, scheduling, tending to kids after school, and those sorts of things.

To each their own, but I find it embarrassing and frankly a little pathetic. What kind of man lives that way while his wife goes out and provides? [/quote]

I don’t see this at all.  The SAHD’s that I know are doing it because their DW has a career that requires travel and a lot of time out of the home, and it’s easier on the family to have one SAHP.

They are t exactly like SAHMs.  They are more likely to spend a lot of time on yardwork than on cooking, and they ar more likely to volunteer at the school installing air conditioning units in older classrooms than running a bake sale, but they are good men and good members of the community.  [/quote]

NP. This is what I see, too. [/quote]

Fair enough. We know different dudes. Bear in mind I’m talking about SAHDs of school-aged kids, not guys tending to toddlers. So they’ve got a lot of leisure time. One of the PPs above hit the nail on the head: [b]they do all have some vague hobby/vocation like “music” that is never played publicly or published, “a book” (same), or some kind of mental health issue. [/b]Not disparaging the latter.

As for why some people (and I include myself) find SAHDs possibly (certainly not always) pathetic while not feeling the same about SAHMs? I dunno. It just feels different. Women have a uterus to birth children, breasts to nurture them. In virtually every happy and healthy family I’ve ever known the mom is the closer nurturer and stronger source of support for children until they are of a certain maturity—teens usually. And the family’s material well being is usually maximized by a man working. When I see “Gilbert” sauntering around the neighborhood in board shorts at 1PM on a Tuesday, I feel like I’m watching a permanent 9 year old. [/quote]

Right because tennis, or scrapbooking or trying to become an Insta mom or cleaning all day is so much more laudable. How dare he be a whole person. [/quote]

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