Reply to Etiquettes- guests coming empty handed to dinner is this okay?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I tell my friends to get their sweet, relaxed selves and enjoy the evening.  I love it when people have a fun evening, when they like the food enough to take the leftovers, and when laughter and jokes flow at the table.

For me, the ability to have a clean and decorated house, cook fabulous food and serve the best wine, pack leftovers for people to take home and finally end a successful evening by cleaning up and leaving the house spotless once the guests leave - is immensely satisfying.  It probably is a bit of a flex too because in my mind it means that I am running a smooth and functional household and my  kids are benefiting by living in such a household and learning how to socialize and host organically.

The truth is that majority of people in this country do not entertain because it requires effort, money, time, expertise, health and being functional.  Also, most people do not have a social circle where there is an expectation to engage in social reciprocation.

Generally people get super stressed about it.  Do you all not realize how hosting Thanksgiving for their own families make people want to slit their wrists that there are TG hotlines set up? People do not know how to host because they have not seen it in their lives. It is overwhelming. They have also not been taught how to be good guests.  Hospitality is not a WASP American trait. Thank God for the immigrants!![/quote]

As a WASP, I disagree with your blanket statement.  I think it has more to do with class and life experience.  I also think it much rarer to not understand basics than DCUM likes to think.  Maybe everyone is just too busy to enjoy hosting there?  I host a ton and it doesn't stress me out at all.  I'm an introvert married to an extrovert, and I actually love hosting because I get to orchestrate the fun in a space I am comfortable in, and enjoy making people happy.  I hate going to parties at other people's houses for that reason.  [/quote]

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