Reply to How do you SAH but not get lumped in with the nanny and daycare-hating crazies?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My takeaway:  SAHMs are defensive and hyper-sensitive and WOHMs are one-note shrews harping on financial independence.  Poor OP even had to justify her degree to prove it wasn’t wasted.

None of us are coming out of this thread looking good, ladies. [/quote]

I don’t disagree generally that these are always how these threads go, but I don’t see any WOHMs talking about financial independence in this thread. Plenty of weirdly hyper defensiveness from the SAHMs though. [/quote]

That’s because you are blind to how OP’s post is fundamentally anti-SAHM. Let me give you an analogous post that reads just like OP’s post to me:

“I’m a married black mom. I live in a town with racist white people who think all black children don’t have fathers. How do I make sure the white people know I’m not one of ‘those’ single black moms?” You don’t! You reject the premise altogether.[/quote]

:shock:

Oh my God. I cannot believe you felt this analogy was remotely appropriate.

I’m seriously floored you thought this was an acceptable analogy. No matter what, SAHMs being judged is NOTHING like the horrific racism faced by black people. Your comparison is horrifying.

[/quote]

Fine. Report it. Delete it. I’m just trying to make an analogy. Here: “I’m a mechanic who went to trade school. But I love to read and go to museums. My family thinks all mechanics are dumb. How do I make sure they know I’m not one of ‘those’ mechanics?” You don’t. You don’t validate the stereotype that mechanics are dumb. If you lead with “… but don’t worry, I like to read and go to museums,” you are revealing an internalized shame about being a mechanic.[/quote]

Translation: “I’ve got such a victim complex about being a SAHM that I see no problem with my horrifying racist analogy and won’t apologize because my victim complex is more important than anything else. Oh and I’m going to double down with a classist analogy while I am at it.”[/quote]

Both my examples were about how those stereotypes are untrue… but your knee jerk wokeness is very impressive. It’s not about me being a SAHM and feeling like a victim. If a WOHM said she felt judged and posted about it like OP did, I would make a similar point. Almost everyone is a “victim” of some stereotype, some much more harmful than others. But the answer is never to validate the stereotype by explaining how you are different from all the other people referenced in the stereotype.[/quote]

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