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[quote=Anonymous]When I learned my DH had driven drunk with the kids and I in the car I refused to let him drive us without taking a breathalyzer first. If he refused, the plan was that I drove or we didn’t go. Breathalyzers are very available. We didn’t use it for him to prove to me he was sober generally, he offered but I refused that because it seemed likely to lead to more lies and resentment. But for driving/safety, it was a very easy solution to my extreme anxiety.

He’s been sober for a while so we stopped using it, but I am concerned that he is starting to relapse and I am thinking of starting it again.

The new boundary I’m setting is not letting him take the car to events where there is a higher risk of drinking. There was a time when leaving the house meant there was a higher risk of drinking, but thankfully we’re not there now. But he will not be driving to social events.

Don’t drive yourself crazy looking for alcohol. My DH hid it in the outside recycling bin, in the wheel well of the car, all kinds of places. And he hid and disposed of empties away from the house. Even when I found stuff and said something he lied or gaslighted about it. I thought he had some limits but he was totally out of control. And he just found a new hiding place and replaced what I’d found.

The best thing you can do now is get yourself a counselor who has some experience with addiction. If you’re employed, you may be able to start with your employers EAP.

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