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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s not 4 instances in 8 months, it’s 4 instances in 8 months that you know of.

Find a counselor for yourself to help you navigate.[/quote]

This.  Although I’ll go beyond a “counselor” and say you need a licensed therapist with specialty in treating alcohol addiction.

You will, at some point, need to have a come to Jesus talk with your DH about his drinking problem.  He needs treatment, which he probably already knows.  His problems with alcohol aren’t your fault, but they will make your and your child’s life hell unless and until your DH gets the help he needs.[/quote]

NP. This, above. Also to add:

OP, no one has yet pointed out what I pray has already occurred to you: You know FOR SURE that your DH has driven while drunk; those are only the instances you know about (if you think the drinking you list is the only drinking, you are being incredibly naive); and most of all -- [i]at some point he will drive drunk with your child in the car. If he hasn't done so already.[/i] That fact alone should be enough to push you to have your come-to-Jesus talk with him now, not after he's been arrested for DUI (which could affect his job) or driven drunk with a child in the car, or...worse.

There are Al-Anon meetings every single day somewhere. Also meetings online. You need to hear all the stuff on this thread from people who have been exactly where you are now: Wondering, doubting "but is this really alcoholism?" etc. You need to hear it in person in real time, not behind anonymous posts on this board. Get an Al-Anon meeting for you today or tonight. Be frank that you are unsure if this is alcoholism (it is, but I think you need the short, sharp shock of really hearing this to your face, OP). BTW, Al-Anon is for families of alcoholics and is not "AA" which is for the alcoholics themselves. 
https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/

Yes, you also need a therapist with a speciality in addictions and families where there is an addict.

I'm very concerned that this thread got so derailed and dominated by the "it could be an affair" talk over and over. Focus first on the drinking. Don't look for an affair first and foremost.

Do as another PP said and scour the entire house, even places you might think are foolish to look, or too crazy ever for him to hide something there. Do the same with your cars. Do it ASAP. Take off work to do it if you must.

Your post does not just have red flags for his alcoholism, it has giant, neon arrows pointing at him but I'm worried you are not wanting to go full on and admit he's alcoholic. One does not have to drink 24/7 to be alcoholic; one can have periods of not drinking at all. One does not have to be falling-down, vomiting drunk to be alcoholic (though he got to that point and that's a bad sign too).

And OP, this may seem like a small thing in vast problem here, but as another PP noted -- never, ever give Tylenol or any other brand of acetaminophen to a person who has consumed any alcohol at all. The drug interacts with alcohol and can damage the liver severely. I know this from experience; my relative had a drinking problem, took Tylenol regularly while drinking over the years, and ended up with a destroyed liver. And even one time of using acetaminophen/Tylenol with alcohol in the body can damage the liver. to some extent. Sorry to add that to your plate but please never give him Tylenol when he's been drinking anything at all. [/quote]

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